Ever since my surgery, I’ve had a terrible time trying to sleep through the night. Four hours seems to be my maximum. Fears surround me everyday. Fear of getting older. Fear of not having the mobility of my youth. Fear that my body is failing me. Fear of my dreams. Fear of death.
Attacks strike me almost everyday. I get a handle on it by closing my eyes and concentrate on my breathing.
I feel that I am standing a precipice of change, but I have no idea what it is. Maybe I have already fallen. I have never been full of so much apprehension, fear.
I’m so sorry to read this, Keith.
Thanks Lois. This has become all too real……
Keith, I am so sorry to read of your struggles with fear and anxiety. I hope you find some relief/support soon because this is real. You don’t have to go this alone. I know you have a loving wife and son and a whole bunch of us who care. It takes a lot of strength to put this out there. Do take care.
Thanks Audrey. I have my annual physical today and this is something I need to address. It has been slowly subsiding, but still all too real. I have more surgery in my near future and I do not want to go through the complications I had from the hip surgery. I have been active my whole life and to slow down, not being able to do what I used to, has been a hard pill to swallow. I can accept a gradual decline do to aging, but to have physical activity turned off suddenly is difficult. I have been filling it with lots of walking, but with my knee, it limits me. There is so much more then just this. I struggle to sleep.
Keith, I’m thankful you will be talking to your primary care doctor about the physical and mental health struggles you are dealing with right now. You’ve had a major change in your life no longer being able to be as active as you have always been. So it makes sense that you would feel down about that. It’s good that you are walking. I expect physical activity and sleep issues are connected. Hang in there. Dealing with any kind of life-changing health issue is difficult, especially as we age. You’re strong. You WILL get through this. I’m sorry you’re facing more surgery soon. That’s not easy either. Hopefully full healing will come soon or you will adjust and learn to manage as best you can.