Thursday night I went to a farewell party for a friend of mine, Rob. We’ve known each other for 35 years. The friendship hasn’t always been rosy for the last 12 years or so. I’ll just leave it to be involving a matter of trust. There were issues that I could forget and told him so. With age comes wisdom and forgiveness for certain things. I had once tried to explain face to face, what my issues were, but I got no response, but a blank expression and dead air. I knew that he knows, but in time he felt it better to somewhat back away than speak about it.
It was a sad evening for me, as I probably will not see him again unless he comes back east. I’ve been to where he’s moving to, Portland Oregon. The family and I were there about five years ago. We were a bit disappointed, as we’re always hoping that a place we visit, might be a place we might move to as well. Portland was not for us. We loved the Oregon coast though. Beautiful.
Today, Sunday, was a bittersweet, as Rob is moving tomorrow. There was a farewell ride planned and I did go for a few miles, but my hip and knee forced me to take it easy and cut my ride short. He remarried four years ago and I only met his new wife a couple of weeks ago. She moved here the week before COVID lockdown and never made friends. Nicole offered to meet for coffee, etc., but they never took the overture. Rob’s wife voiced displeasure in living here, but never took advantage I feel. She could have had a good friend in Nicole. In the end, his sentiments about NYC echoed hers, even with growing up here.
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More on hip and knee……
My hip continues to mend week by week. I can just get to the walking distance I was doing before surgery. Cycling ….. not so much. My left knee continues to give me trouble and holds me back. It was diagnosed with osteoarthritis during my hip post op just over two weeks ago. The PA gave me a cortisone shot which helped greatly for the first two days and then nothing. Physical therapy seems to help a great deal. I am going to ask ther therapist to concentrate on my knee a bit more. What’s great is that therapy that helps the hip, helps the knee, and vice versa.
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The saddest note, an old girlfriend just passed last night after a battle with cancer. We were together seven years. Our breakup was mutual and we remained good friends. She met Ethan and Nicole. Her passing was quick and unexpected. She knew after her last scan that she might not make year’s end. I thought there was still time. At least more months to visit and converse. I’m glad I got to visit her a couple of times, but there was another visit planned, more conversation. Unfortunately neither will not happen.
This has not been a great year, Keith. I am sorry for the losses. All of them. Too many of them. I hope the new year can bring good, or at least better, times for you. ❤
We have to take the time we have as comes and face whatever life gives us. Marge was an ex partner. Our main issue was her unwillingness to commit to something more permanent after 7 years of relationship. We split up amicably and remained good friends. She met Ethan and Nicole. COVID kept us from visiting and having coffee or dinner during that time. I only found out about her illness from a mutual friend in a not too subtle email. I am glad we were able to get together. We had another visit planned. Due to a busy week with my own doctors, I was not in touch though planned to call her last night. I came home from saying good-bye to an old friend who was moving from NYC, to find Nicole on her computer and telling me that Marge passed as I walked through the front door. Marge was a tough independent person. She held onto some things from her past as her only fault. Things that might have kept her from moving ahead. To people who first met her, she might have seemed aloof or off putting. She had a warm funny soul. She was a former smoker who thought that after years of the habit, she might have dodged the bullet. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. She was an avid reader and a writer of short stories that have been published in many wriitng journals. She was a friend of the humorist David Sedaris. She worked at Barnes and Noble.com for many years until her layoff. This seemed to free her and unleash her artistic abilities into make pottery. I will miss her dearly.
Keith, I am sorry for all you are going through– physically, mentally, emotionally. It’s a lot. Loss is tough. Relationships can be difficult. You and I have lived enough years to understand all of that. I am so thankful you have Nicole and Ethan. Here’s to life getting better with improved health and all the things that bring you joy. You are doing the best you can. That I read in your writing.
Thank you Audrey. This was tough weekend. I was hoping to see Marge this week, or this past weekend. She left us Saturday afternoon. Her passing was too quick. I’m sure she didn’t expect it herself. I thought she had more months. She knew her time was coming and the end of the year was not in sight. I hoped for one last conversation. Things seem to be always left unsaid. She called her brother who flew up from Florida, but, unfortunately he didn’t arrive in time. I don’t know what I would have done if I was there.
I did get good news from a couple of doctors. They calmed my fears and lessened my anxiety. Nothing life threatening. Things are repairable, like a good old domestic car.
It is always difficult when we miss that opportunity to say a final goodbye. I’m happy to hear you got encouraging news from your medical team.